Friday, October 28, 2011

Thank you God for SWEAT!

This morning we were saying prayers together before school. It was actually a really nice moment when PT blurts out, "Thank God for sweat!". The girls and I spun our heads around with a mutual, "Huh??"

He smiled and replied, "S is for shelter. W for water. E for energy. A for air and T for time to grow."

He told us that he had learned it in science class.

I found it very funny, very sweet, and very clever. I am sure God did too.

Whoever said that science and religion couldn't co-exist??

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I Am Still Alive...For Now

I totally fell off the blogging wagon, my friends.
It is true.
Have no fear, the kids haven't killed me.
I am still alive...for now.

I feel like maybe I wasn't sure what to say, or how to say it. Being a foster parent means that I can't share many details and I just didn't know how to chat about life without them. And frankly, I have a lot less time.

I have to admit that I have been quite overwhelmed during the transition of CM into our home. I struggle to keep 4 kids in 4 different schools and their bus schedules and homework straight, as well as making it to therapy and doctor appointments on time. I have also been learning the ropes at a new job, trying to reduce the catastrophic impact that 5 kids can have on a house, the pantry, and the laundry, as well as trying to do more meal planning. (By the way, I have nothing planned for tonight's dinner.) And most importantly, I have been trying my best to answer hard questions and to protect little hearts.  I ache to give them each more undivided attention.

There have been episodes of regression, anger, sleep routine disturbances, defiant and attention seeking behaviors, sadness, and a tad of chaos...from any given member of this family at any given time. My dear hubby is the only sane one at times. No seriously, there has also been a special birthday party and many sweet moments, where hugs, kisses, and giggles are plentiful.  I am getting better at doing black hair and also love being called "Mommy" to each of them.

I am certain that God knows what he is doing. However, sometimes I feel like I don't. Sometimes after everyone is in bed, I fret about what I did or didn't do right with one or more of them, especially since behaviors are more consistently directed at me vs. my husband (which drives me crazy, of course). Honestly, I have prayed more in the last few weeks more than I ever have.  I have read other posts from adoptive moms and I find comfort knowing that we are not the first family, or I am not the first Mom to get a little "shook up" while everyone shifts and adapts to each other.   I also find comfort in my close friends and family who have prayed for and supported us along this journey. (I love you all!)  And my husband, I just can't say enough about his ability to love, accept, and calm me.  He is so strong and steady, and exactly the partner I needed in my life. 

I am in awe and inspired, by other foster/adoptive/large families who are much further along in their journey of learning to embrace the chaos, redefining their priorities, and ultimately giving their worries over to God.
I find myself praying something like this..."Dear God, I am tired and frustrated.  I am so sorry for the times when I am too quick to anger or frustration.  Forgive me.  I really don't even know exactly what I need to pray for.  You do.  You know what each of these children needs.  Help me to say the right things.  Please God, help us to give them each what they need. Please heal and protect CM's little heart. We can't do it without you."

It is silly (not to mention impossible) but I want to fast forward past the transition, the disruption, the shifting. 
I just need a little peek at how His plan will play out.
I want CM to feel so embedded and loved in this family.
I want each of us to have trouble remembering what it was like before we were a family of 7.
Before we were complete.

Life is so busy and a bit messy right now, but it could be so much harder.
It is getting better everyday.
We are blessed and this new family is an answered prayer.
I know that.
I love these kids and our life.

...I just need a good nap :)

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Sunday Funnies: Play set Pandemonium

Imagine sitting at your kitchen table chatting with your case worker.
After all, today is your monthly safety audit.
 Your older 3 kids are in the backyard playing with the neighbors, in your view.
You gaze out the kitchen window to see your most responsible child (L, age 9)
using the climbing rope as a pulley.
She and her friend, have pulled the fish rocker toy up from the ground
and is now suspended at the top level of the play set.

Looks strange.  Absolutely.
As you try to process what they are doing, you see your 4 year old
stepping out from the top level in order to sit on the rocker that is only being
held up by a 50 pound, 9 year old girl holding a rope.
Everything is in sloooow moootion.

You nearly fall off the bench in attempts to get to them in time.
No luck.
J crashes to the ground before you can get to the door.
She sheepishly walks to the house.
Not an injury to note.  Thank God!!

Then she proclaims, "L told me to!"
L instantly replies, "It was the neighbor's idea."
You then proceed to raise your voice and banish your children to their rooms while
you complete the rest of the stinkin' "safety audit."

You then casually made your way back to your hubby and the case worker,
smile, and say something like, "Let's not write that one down."

Yes my friends, this is a sad but true story.
Yet another crazy day at our house.

Sharing Saturday: ALS Association

A friend and collegue lost her father to ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, a few years ago.
This past weekend was the ALS Walk and we made a donation in support of 
their efforts to fund research for a cure.

Check out their website here.