Sunday, September 18, 2011

Sunday Funnies: Kroger-style Mother of the Year Award

H took the two oldest to the Reds game leaving me with the the 3 little ones.
(Side note: a young man at work heard me talking about our plans and said, "I hope my wife never says something like, "He'll have just 2 or 3 of the kids and I'll take the rest.)

Sorry, back on topic.  I took them to McDonald's because that's what good moms feed their kids.
The had a great time and slowly made it through their Happy Meals...and ice cream.
Four thousand napkins later, we were finished and headed off to Kroger to get a few things and rent a Barbie movie from the Redbox.  (I'm a big spender you see.)

JJ was buckled in the cart. CM was seated in the back of the cart (because she wasn't staying with me otherwise) requiring exhaustive reminders that she may not stand up, dance around, or try to climb out.  J headed right for the U-scan lane because she wanted to help me with our 3 items...string cheese, shredded cheese, and a 6 pack of Michelob Ultra.  Just from the looks of the shopping cart, I already looked like a Mother of the Year candidate. 

I held the cart with one hand very close to me and punched in my shopper card number with my other hand.  I say a woman quickly approaching out of the corner of my eye, but why?

As I turned around, I saw CM straddling the edge of the cart.  Just dangling there and proud of herself.
J grabbed the cheese and was trying to scan it with no idea how.
And best of all, JJ had reached behind her, grabbed an ice cold brewsky and had the bottle
all the way in her mouth!!

You see, I am sure that the woman wasn't judging my parenting skills, healthy food and drink choices, or the fact that my smallest was sucking on a beer bottle, right??

She just knew that I was the Mother of the Year and wanted my autograph, right?
I thanked her for her help.  
Then I...
Totally resisted the overwhelming urge to snap a picture of the chaotic moment.
Snatched the bottle out of JJ's mouth and hands and noticed that both she and I had big grins on our faces.  Scooped CM up into my arms.
Helped J scan an item so that she's be quiet about it and tried to catch her with my one free hand as she walked off  saying, "I am going to go get in line at the Redbox."  
And most importantly, I scanned the room to see if anyone was taking a picture or calling the authorities.

FYI, that stinkin' Barbie movie wasn't worth it.
At least I got a Sunday Funny out of it.

Hope that you all have a blessed week.


Tricia said...


From the Schroders said...

If it makes you feel better, Madison (kindergarten) was crying at bedtime last night that she didn't want to go to school in the morning, how many more days does she have. I looked right at her and said, "Years!! Suck it up!" Real comforting, Mom!

Carrie said...

Hilarious telling of your chaos! I especially laughed at the "four thousand napkins later" part. Your whole post is so true in so many ways. And I agree w the fb post... I can totally "hear" you telling this story when I read it, which makes it even better. Thanks!